p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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