I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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