We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
