I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she smelled like a LAN party
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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