Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
