its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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