The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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