at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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