i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize