I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
