I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
