Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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