it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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