he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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