You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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