If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize