I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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