My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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