Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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