Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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