he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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