just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
