Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
