Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
