DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And then he peed in my hair
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