i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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