I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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