All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
