how can u be prego again
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
