4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
