his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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