I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Damn victory sex feels great
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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