Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
