dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
