I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
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