I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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