He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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