CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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