k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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