She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
