Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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