you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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