I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
