would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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