Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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