You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
