And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My feet surprised me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
