I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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