We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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