Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
