Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
