The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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