Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
