three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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