you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize