last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i will never coherently bang her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
