why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
