I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
