i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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