I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
