I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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