OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
