the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
